Are Your Kids "Driving You Insane?"

Parent (Anonymous) Asks:
What do I do with kids that will not be quiet? They are talking to us, but really talking just to hear themselves, asking very elementary questions that they know the answers to. I've spent alone time with both of them. We are dealing with 1 who has been diagnosed with "ADHD" and is not medicated...driving me insane!

Ruth, Keeping It Real:
First ask yourself, why must they be quiet? Are they talking when it's time to be quiet or inappropriate to talk? ... Like in a movie theater, or at a wedding during the vows? Or, are they talking in the car, in the kitchen, in the family room? If they're able to be quiet at all, then they're choosing to speak. In that case, my next question would be, "Why are they talking?" If they're trying to get your attention, then instead of reacting, you need to determine what the true NEED is and address that, instead of getting annoyed. You may want to consider if your patience is lessened during certain times (like when you're tired in the evening) or when you're engaged in specific activities, and determine if these are times when your children seem the most verbose .... you may discover a correlation.

The Bible says that fruits of The Spirit (Galatians 5:22-24) include love, joy, peace, and patience. In the King James Version, the Bible decribes love (1Corinthians 13:4-8) as being "long-suffering." Childhood doesn't (shouldn't) last forever. And children learn more by example than direction.

Have you considered going "brain-dead" when you know they're asking questions they know the answers to already? Try answering with, "What did I say?" or "What do you think?" or "What would you tell someone who asked you that question?"

What if they're talking to each other and not you? Do you have to participate? Can you disengage if you choose to do so?

Books that will help:

Calming the Chaos: Behavior Improvement Strategies for the Child With ADD/ADHD by Jim Fay and Charles Fay PhD

Meeting The Challenge, by Jim Fay, Foster Cline MD, and Bob Sornson PhD